Journals23
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WHAT'S THIS?!
1 min read
I've returned from the land of no posts! Or photos! Or anything! I've moved into a new place and I really like it, so expect to see pictures on a more frequent basis.
That is all.
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WARNING. INCOMING RANT.
3 min read
OK, so I'm an aspie - that is, I have Asperger Syndrome, which, last I checked, is on the autism spectrum - so already, I'm a little different. We've known about it since I was five or six. My family (that is, my grandmother and her sister, who raised me) used to be tolerant of the things I do and/or go through. Maybe they even thought it was cute when I was a kid, I don't know. But as I've gotten older, they've become less tolerant and been acting more and more put-upon. It got to the point where I all but begged a friend to let me move in with him as he was moving out of his house nearly - jesus, really? - three years ago. I moved out, literally overnight, on Easter weekend while they were spending the weekend with some friends.
But I still love my family, as much as they've hurt me in the past by not accepting me for who I am - disorders, syndromes and all. It just hurts so much when I look at part of who I am and know that I can never tell them something about me that's incredibly personal. It hurts that I'm scared to tell them that I'm a female-to-herm transgender, and that I'd rather walk around on four feet than two, and that even in my own goddamn dreams I'm terrified of them judging me and finding me lacking.
I sounded out the whole furry thing to them - even bisexuality - and they thought either it was a phase, or just ignored the fact. And I'm terrified to come out as a furry or TG, because anything they don't see as normal, they reject. After all, it doesn't fit in their little worldview. My mom, though, she'd probably grin and ask me if I was planning to make a suit, if I was planning to try hormone treatments, and all sorts of other things. Because she's just so damn awesome
What inspired this? Believe it or not it was a dream.
If you follow the Confessions of a Furry blog on Tumblr, then you've probably already seen it.
Not long ago, I had the most amazing, wonderful, and terrible dream, in which I got to become who I am inside. And near the end of the dream, I was terrified to introduce my new self to my grandmother and her sister. I never got to see how their dream counterparts reacted, because I woke up before I could show them the new me.
The next time I see my family, I'm going to come out to them. I'm terrified of doing so, but I'm not going to lie to them about who I am any more.
If anyone who's watching me (not many, I'm sure) has any suggestions, please share?
But I still love my family, as much as they've hurt me in the past by not accepting me for who I am - disorders, syndromes and all. It just hurts so much when I look at part of who I am and know that I can never tell them something about me that's incredibly personal. It hurts that I'm scared to tell them that I'm a female-to-herm transgender, and that I'd rather walk around on four feet than two, and that even in my own goddamn dreams I'm terrified of them judging me and finding me lacking.
I sounded out the whole furry thing to them - even bisexuality - and they thought either it was a phase, or just ignored the fact. And I'm terrified to come out as a furry or TG, because anything they don't see as normal, they reject. After all, it doesn't fit in their little worldview. My mom, though, she'd probably grin and ask me if I was planning to make a suit, if I was planning to try hormone treatments, and all sorts of other things. Because she's just so damn awesome
What inspired this? Believe it or not it was a dream.
If you follow the Confessions of a Furry blog on Tumblr, then you've probably already seen it.
Not long ago, I had the most amazing, wonderful, and terrible dream, in which I got to become who I am inside. And near the end of the dream, I was terrified to introduce my new self to my grandmother and her sister. I never got to see how their dream counterparts reacted, because I woke up before I could show them the new me.
The next time I see my family, I'm going to come out to them. I'm terrified of doing so, but I'm not going to lie to them about who I am any more.
If anyone who's watching me (not many, I'm sure) has any suggestions, please share?
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I now have a Tumblr
1 min read
And most of what's on it will be NSFW or borderline SFW. Yeah, I'm a Hetard - but mostly because I love all those sexy, sexy males. It's ask-kikus-camera.tumblr.com/ Ask Kiku's Camera. If you're at all interested in Hetalia, I encourage you to click and send me an ask!
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This is very unusual for me.
1 min read
I generally don't do this. You know I don't. I know I don't.
We all know I don't do that, that's been told , but please, please, PLEASE check out this journal from my friend who's in desperate need of help.
conspiritorialkitten.deviantar…
If you choose not to, please feel free to ignore/unfollow/unfriend or whatever. But I have a friend who's in need of help, and I'm doing what I can to, seeing as how we have literally $100 to last us through the rest of the month right now.
We all know I don't do that, that's been told , but please, please, PLEASE check out this journal from my friend who's in desperate need of help.
conspiritorialkitten.deviantar…
If you choose not to, please feel free to ignore/unfollow/unfriend or whatever. But I have a friend who's in need of help, and I'm doing what I can to, seeing as how we have literally $100 to last us through the rest of the month right now.
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The Demon RUSH
2 min read
The Demon Rush is, arguably, one of the worst games ever created by a human being. The plot takes turns you didn't even know were there, the dialogue is absolute crap, and the character names - really, was the creator on DRUGS or something when he made it?
In addition to the the plot and dialogue, the music is terribly synthesized. TERRIBLY. It crawls into your head and WILL NOT LEAVE. Swear to god. It's seriously just that bad.
I'm going to be playing it myself (I've only previously watched other people play) to see exactly how horrible it is. Please note, for the people who hung out at the Speed Demos Archive when they were doing their Doctors Without Borders fundraiser, I was one of the most vocal people telling them to "turn the game off, please, for the love of little green apples and fuzzy puppies!"
The guy who developed the game (one person) spent over ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS on it. No joke.
And he initially wanted 20 dollars for it. Twenty. Dollars. For a game that a five-year-old could have done better. Want proof? Check out the playlist I put together:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVpA9a…
And if you refuse to believe that it's really bad, please keep in mind that it REQUIRES at least 256 MB of RAM to be free if you want to play.
Still not convinced? It's now available for free (Maybe because he finally decided that TDR really WAS that bad, maybe because more people would play it if it was free - which is the case), at Dragoon Entertainment's website: www.dragoon.ca/
May God have mercy on my soul, and that of anyone else who decides to play this game.
Peace, I'm out.
P.S.
I do also have an account on FA. If you happen across an account that has the exact same journal, chances are that it's me.
PPS.
I won't be playing it immediately, I want to wait until I've got a good stretch of time to waste. I'll probably post a new journal when I can't take any more.
In addition to the the plot and dialogue, the music is terribly synthesized. TERRIBLY. It crawls into your head and WILL NOT LEAVE. Swear to god. It's seriously just that bad.
I'm going to be playing it myself (I've only previously watched other people play) to see exactly how horrible it is. Please note, for the people who hung out at the Speed Demos Archive when they were doing their Doctors Without Borders fundraiser, I was one of the most vocal people telling them to "turn the game off, please, for the love of little green apples and fuzzy puppies!"
The guy who developed the game (one person) spent over ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS on it. No joke.
And he initially wanted 20 dollars for it. Twenty. Dollars. For a game that a five-year-old could have done better. Want proof? Check out the playlist I put together:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVpA9a…
And if you refuse to believe that it's really bad, please keep in mind that it REQUIRES at least 256 MB of RAM to be free if you want to play.
Still not convinced? It's now available for free (Maybe because he finally decided that TDR really WAS that bad, maybe because more people would play it if it was free - which is the case), at Dragoon Entertainment's website: www.dragoon.ca/
May God have mercy on my soul, and that of anyone else who decides to play this game.
Peace, I'm out.
P.S.
I do also have an account on FA. If you happen across an account that has the exact same journal, chances are that it's me.
PPS.
I won't be playing it immediately, I want to wait until I've got a good stretch of time to waste. I'll probably post a new journal when I can't take any more.
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